A Voice
by Clowie
Summary: What is it about Finn Hudson that makes Rachel Berry act so crazy? A look into the mind of our favourite drama queen from the first time she heard Finn sing and continuing through the episodes. Rated M for safety. My first Glee story, yay!
1. She heard him

**Author Note: **Brand new story, yay! So I've officially become obsessed with Glee and the whole Rachel/ Finn pairing. This is my first Glee fanfic, so hopefully you like it. Rachel's POV about her relationship with Finn

She heard him sing and something exploded. Rachel Berry was usually in control. Always in control. But, she heard him sing and suddenly she wasn't in control any more. She always went after what she wanted and now she was just doing what came naturally to her, going after the thing she wanted. It was just that now she wanted him. The tall, cute football player with the smoking voice. He could be trained to be her equal. She threw the lyrics to the floor in one quick movement, doing what her body wanted to do, moving towards him and pushing everyone else away. If she stopped for a minute she would have realised she looked stupid. But, if she stopped for a moment to think then she wouldn't be Rachel Berry. He looked slightly frightened but she knew he'd get used to it. Get used to her. She could make him. He had such warm hands too. Such pretty brown eyes. Their babies would be gorgeous and talented.

Suddenly the music stopped and he was stepping away from her. Mercedes was saying something about Beyonce and Kelly Rowland, but that wasn't important. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him. Mr Shue had done his job, he would be the perfect male lead and maybe even something more. She smiled. Yes, he would do. Finn Hudson would be perfect.

* * *

He had a girlfriend. Quinn Fabray, Cheerio and captain of the celibacy club, one of the most popular girls in school. She sighed. Maybe he would just be the perfect singing partner. Maybe that was all he could be. Why would he want to date her when he had Quinn? She shook her head. That was not the Rachel Berry way of thinking. She was talented, they connected on a musical level. That was a big deal. They'd work well together. She would make him want her. A sly smile crept up her face. She was a star. Her dad's had taught her that she could have anything she wanted. She wanted him. He'd want her too. She just needed to try harder.

* * *

He was back. He had realised she was right. She was always right, so that didn't surprise her that much. Something lifted inside her when she realised that he had come back. That what she had said about him being better than the rest of his friends had had an impact. It meant that she mattered to him.

"And Rachel, you can do the choreography," he smiles so sweetly at her that she can feel her heart swell. A voice in the back of her head reminds her that he could be her undoing. Not if she was in charge though. A perfect dance routine was playing out inside her head. A lot of touching between the female and male leads would definitely be necessary. This wasn't about her need to touch him. It would be about the music. Good choreography added to the emotion. Touching always added to the emotion. She felt oddly giddy at the thought. Lots of touching would definitely be necessary.

* * *

She honestly didn't think he had it in him to choose a song that would make them all sound so amazing. Heck, when he told them they'd be singing a Journey song she was still very sceptical, but he had looked so innocently hopeful that she didn't tell him that. She always knew she sounded good. But, right now they were all sounding...amazing. Her choreography was working out really well. Their voices were harmonising perfectly. She couldn't help but feel empowered by the whole performance. And to top it all off, he was looking at her the way she had always wanted someone to look at her. She didn't know if it was the song or something else, but, it seemed as though he felt something too. It was like he was singing directly to her, as though those gorgeous brown eyes were piercing into her very soul. She felt like she was on fire. She could feel everything. Every touch, every word, every melody. And he was there, making her feel it all.

* * *

"You want to know something they won't tell you?" she was looking directly at Finn and she could tell he was definitely intrigued. This could definitely work. Playing the seduction card when she knows his girlfriend is captain of the celibacy club.

"Girls want sex just as much as boys do," from the look on his face she can see that her plan has worked. Those warm brown eyes are completely trained on her as she makes yet another dramatic exit. She could write a book on dramatic exits: How to stage a dramatic exit: the Rachel Berry way. She can feel the blush rising as she enters the hallway, realising exactly what she has said. In a nutshell, she told Finn she was just as interested in sex as he was. That must have sounded great. But, the main thing is it got his attention. Feeling proud of herself she smiled. She had stolen Finn Hudson's attention away from his clichéd blonde cheerleading girlfriend. That was definitely something to be proud of. Feeling better about herself then she had in a while she walked out of the school, thoughts of how to get Finn to look at her like that again flittering through her mind as she went.

* * *

Yes, there may have been ulterior motives for picking the song "Push it" and yes it did have something to do with how good Finn smelt when she was close to him. It was such a blatantly sexual song that there was nothing odd about making the choreography so overtly sexual either. Lots of grinding and pretend humping was necessary to get across their message and make Glee appeal to the 'popular' kids. Sure, it was an added bonus of being the group's choreographer that she was able to make sure that she was partnered with Finn, but pretending to hump Artie or Kurt would have just been plain wrong. With Finn it just didn't seem wrong. Sure, it seemed strange and it was awkward, but, it felt like they were just doing what was natural. That sounds slutty. But, it was deeper than that. She felt safe in his arms, despite the sexuality of their movements. And as he sang and moved with her, she believed he wanted her too. Even if was just for the performance.

* * *

He looks so adorable sitting across from her with his hand covering what he believes is his heart. She can't help but smile as she reaches forward to correct him.

"Your hearts on the other side of your chest," she doesn't want to let go of his hand, but she can't keep holding it for no reason, can she?

"Your cool Rachel," her heart skips a beat as he grins in his crooked way. She suggests that they have something to drink. It's the only way she can think of something other than how fast his heart is beating at her touch, how fast her heart must be beating. So he doesn't think she's crazy. That's a positive.

"You have a little Cosmo..." she can feel her heart thudding in her ear as he leans forward and his finger brushes over her lip. She feels it tremble. She feels her whole body tremble. It's all oddly exhilarating.

"You can kiss me if you want too," her mouth moves before her brain can catch up. He looks confused and Rachel thinks she's messed up. Why would he want to kiss her? She knows he has a girlfriend. She wants to throw up, run away...just get away.

"I want too," if he can't hear her heart beating then he must be deaf. Her whole body feels as though it's vibrating to the beat of her heart. He leans forward, pressing her onto her back. It's all so gentle. Suddenly his lips brush across hers and it feels like he is singing to her again. His focused on her. He wants her. And it all feels so right. She leans into him, responding to the kiss. She didn't know a boy could have such soft, supple lips. But, his feel perfect against hers. She feels him move away and so slowly she opens her eyes to meet his. He looks troubled and she becomes confused.

"Did I do something wrong?" he is getting up and she can feel her heart slowly crack.

"No, just...don't tell anyone about this, okay?" and with that he is gone. It's all over. Clearly he didn't mean it. Obviously, he made a mistake. She feels her heart completely break as the realisation sets in. He doesn't want her. He'll never want her. She crumples into a heap on the floor, letting the emptiness of the auditorium echo in her ear.

**Author Note: **Read Review and make an author's day! Cheers!


	2. Dreams

**Author Note: **New chapter, yay! So thanks for reading and enjoying the first one (or just reading if you didn't enjoy) and I hope you like this one. Focus on Acafellas episode. I'm writing all this from Rachel's POV and I won't be adding any different storyline. She's my favourite character and Lea Michele is amazing (Spring Awakening much) and I just feel like delving deeper into her character which seems more complex then first appearances suggest. Hence this story. Enjoy! Also I own nothing, if I owned anything Puck would always be shirtless.

Dreams:

Everything seemed wrong. Quinn was in Glee Club along two other mindless Cheerios. She wasn't the lead female vocalist. Quinn was. And she and Finn had been doing a carefully planned act of avoidance ever since what she liked to term the 'auditorium incident'. Glee was no longer a safe haven. It had been infiltrated and she didn't feel like she could just be Rachel Berry anymore. She had to act controlled, calm and collected in front of the Cheerios, in front of Finn. It was all too staged and not in a 'Rachel Berry centre stage' kind of way. In a 'this isn't fun anymore' kind of way. She sighed and went back to focusing on her diaphragm movements. If she was going to be a successful singer, show them all what she was made off, she had to focus on her singing instead of everything else. It was time to focus on her career. That was bigger than Finn. Bigger than Quinn. Bigger than Glee dramas.

* * *

"We need Dakota Stanley," Quinn says before moving away with her giggling entourage. She stops, frozen for a second. Why does it feel like she's been invited to join the Dark side? She shakes her head and moves on. Dakota Stanley is the best choreographer, she knows that. She didn't need Quinn Fabray to tell her that. He would help the Glee club win. That's what she wanted right? She wanted Glee to be successful so that it could launch her inevitable journey to stardom. A nagging thought kept entering her mind. Did she want to hire Dakota Stanley even if it upset Mr Schuester, the very teacher who had compelled them all to join Glee in the first place? Another voice in her head told her that she shouldn't worry about My Schuester, that her dreams were bigger than him, that he was a grown man who would deal with it, that it wasn't her fault he was such a sensitive sole. She also realised that being on Quinn's good side could be to her advantage. No more 'Rapaul' 'Man hands' or other insults that implied that she was a transvestite or drag-queen of some kind. Maybe even no more slushie facials. Slowly the voice that told her not to care about how this would affect Mr Schuester became louder and louder. They would hire Dakota Stanley. It was the right thing to do.

"Do you see anyone else in here with a plate of 'I'm sorry' cookies? I don't just you," he sounds like she has personally offended him when if anyone should be offended it should be Mr Schuester. She doesn't understand why he is angry. What right does he have to be angry? Was he left in the auditorium confused and in tears? No, that was her. She wouldn't give into him. Even though he was looking at her with those adorable puppy dog eyes. No, she was stronger than that and this has nothing to do with him.

"I'm bored, let's have a vote. All those in favour of hiring Dakota Stanley raise your hand," Quinn shocks Rachel back to reality making her realise that there people other than her and Finn in the room. Defiantly and almost mockingly she raises her hand with the rest of the club. Now Finn can see what it feels like to not get what you want. With a satisfied smile she stalks out of the room.

"Hey, Rachel wait," of all the times she had ever dreamed of Finn coming running after her, this particular scene in front of her had somehow never made the cut. She turns around to face him, attempting to appear as exasperated but faltering slightly when she takes him in. Hands shoved into pockets awkwardly and confused eyes. Like he doesn't know whether or not he should be talking to her but can't stop himself.

"You used to be all over me and now all you do is yell at me," it sounds confusing when he puts it like that, but, after what happened what else is she supposed to do? If he won't discuss what happened between them she isn't going to make him feel as though everything is simply gay and dandy. If he can't be a man she isn't innocently going to sit in the corner and let him play the coward.

"It's kind of ironic that your Mr Popular and I'm this nobody that everyone makes fun of, but I have enough confidence to admit that what happened between us in the auditorium was real. You have feelings for me, you're just too scared to admit it," sometimes she cursers her honesty and bluntness, like now for instance. Sure honesty is the best policy but did she really need to say that. In order to avoid hearing him correct her she turns away from him. She couldn't handle him saying that he doesn't like her like that. Not right now, not after everything. But, shockingly no retort comes. Her heart slightly lifts. It's not an admission but at least it's not a straight out 'no'.

"We're hiring Dakota Stanley and that's final," with that she begins to move away.

"Even if it means me quitting?" she stops mid-step. If he quits she loses him. Any chance of them maybe being together would be gone. But, if she doesn't hire Dakota Stanley Glee loses, she loses and she can't even guarantee that it would win him. Not with Quinn around. Her career has to be more important. Glee's success has to be more important than a silly boy.

"Yes," she answers without looking back. She couldn't bear to look at him. But, she's done the right thing.

* * *

Why are they all walking away? She can't let them walk away. They can't participate in Sectionals if the only members on the team are three cheerleaders and herself. Sure, Dakota Stanley may be a terrific choreographer but he's a mean person. Winning's supposed to be enjoyable and it wouldn't be enjoyable with him yelling names at her and her friends. It was rather nice when Finn spoke up on her behalf though. But, that was the only part of the afternoon that had gone well. She didn't want to be constantly yelled at, even if it did bring Finn's gallant side out.

"Wait," she's glad to see them stop immediately, "Barbara Streisand was told that she needed to get a nose job when she was starting out. Luckily she didn't," the woodland creature looks confused but her fellow Glee clubbers are coming back. He smiles at her so sweetly, almost proudly, that she knows she has done the right thing. Their different. Artie, Tina, Kurt, Mercedes and Finn are all different in their own ways but that's why they work. Their differences make them the perfect combo. It just took her a while to figure that out.

"So misfits and outcasts can be successful too, what's your point?"

"Our point is we're different and that's what makes us special. We don't need you," his smile keeps getting broader, driving her forward, "and also I'm taller than you," she adds the slight insult for dramatic effect. She turns to face their beaming smiles and she feels like a success, corny as it sounds. Sure she still wants to win, but she wants to do it the right way with all her Gleeks standing beside her. And they'll win, that's for sure. They'll win because they're them.

**Author Note:** Hope you enjoyed it, short I know but more to come soon. Thanks for reading and review to make my day, cheers!


	3. Things Change

**Author Note: **So this is set through episodes 3 and 4 of Glee season 1. Nothing new has been added, some dialogue may have been altered as I was running on memory alone. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. If I did than this would be called the Rachel Berry show and everyone would love her. There is too much Rachel hate on Glee so though I don't own her I proclaim national hug Rachel day :D

Things Change:

Everyday Glee was making her life better. She had people to talk to. People who wanted to talk to her. Friends to sit with at lunch. Sure, she knew that a lot of the other Glee kids wanted to shove a sock down her throat from time to time but, generally, they were getting along and Glee was the only fun aspect of her high school career. Finn definitely made it much more enjoyable. Even if his clichéd girlfriend was always with him. Ever since the Dakota Stanley incident a sort of unsaid understanding had been reached between them, she knew he knew that what had happened in the auditorium had been real and, for now, that was enough for her. Maybe one day they'd work something out. Maybe even in the near future. For now, being friends and having Glee was enough to make her content.

* * *

"Tina's getting the solo," it was amazing the immediate impact words could have. Things were going so well and those four words had the power to make her heart sink. She couldn't believe Mr Schuester was doing this to her, taking away the one thing that made her happy, the only thing she was truly good at. She knew she was probably being unfair to Tina. She knew that she probably looked stupid and selfish throwing a small tantrum about a solo, but, no one understood that it was so much more than just singing to her. She had nothing else. If she was the lead, the talent, then even if the other Glee kids didn't like her at least they respected her, needed her. But, if she lost that she lost them. Why would they pretend to be friends with her if they didn't need her? Turning on her heel she stormed out. Never once looking back. Except for that quick second where she checked to make sure that they had noticed her leaving, but, that didn't really count. Or when she checked to see if Finn looked upset and noticed he had that adorable sad puppy look on his face, causing her to stop for just a few seconds just to stare at him. But, that didn't count either. She stormed out, never looking back for a prolonged period of time. If they didn't need her than she didn't need them.

* * *

Finally someone was appreciating her and her talent. She was the star of Cabaret. The Star. Rachel Berry: Star. It definitely had a nice ring to it. Maybe now someone would put a gold star next to her name for her. Maybe she could get rid of the gold stars all together. Why put up gold stars when everyone already knows you are a star, right?

The weird thing was she didn't feel particularly overjoyed at the news that she was the star of the school musical. At first she had been ecstatic. When they had told her she had literally jumped for joy. In this life Rachel had been born to play one role and one role only: the starring role. And now she had it, it all felt a little bit too easy, a little bit wrong. But, to block it all out she hid herself in training, dancing, singing and running lines with her two dads made some of the hollowness of the whole situation shift away. Currently she was working out her frustration in the dance studio. The sound of someone walking into the room stopped her mid stretch as she turned around to see Mr Schuester. She sighed and carried on with her workout. He'd say what he wanted to say, try and get her to do what he wanted without giving her a single benefit and then walk away looking all disappointed. He started talking about how she shouldn't leave Glee just because Tina got a solo. She rolled her eyes, clearly he didn't get it. She didn't even think he liked her that much. And obviously he failed to understand her talent.

"I'm your biggest and sometimes your only fan," he sounded exasperated, but, he still didn't seem to understand why this was such a big deal to her. It wasn't because Tina got the solo. It was because while everyone else was gaining something from being in the club, improving their singing or gaining friends, and yet everything remained the same with her, she was still a loser and now she wasn't even getting to sing properly. What was the point anymore?

"I just don't understand why you have to hurt me to make Tina feel good," it was time to get it all out in the open. Maybe if Mr Schuester understood where she was coming from he'd give her what she deserved. After all, if he was her biggest fan then he would want her to be successful. Turning away from him she vowed to give Glee one more chance.

* * *

"Let's start with 'Tonight' from West Side Story," finally Mr Schuester was going to give her her time to shine, Tina was going to stand down and she could be the star.

"Tina, come on up," and with that her heart was on the floor again. Tina looked sorry enough and Rachel knew that it wasn't her fault but it didn't hurt any less. She had thought Mr Schuester had finally understood how important this was to her. But, she should have known better. Glee wasn't worth all this pain. Even if Finn looked cute when he sang. It was time to quit and dedicate herself to Cabaret, at least the drama department seemed to understand her talent. Appreciate it. Her career was important and the musical would help her career. Glee was not good for anymore so it was time to say goodbye.

* * *

She quit Glee because it was no longer fun. Then why was she still doing Cabaret? Constantly being yelled at, being threatened by that weird Jacob kid who just seemed to want her to take her top of was not on her top ten list of fun ways to spend the day. Honestly it didn't even make the top hundred. The weird thing was that she missed Glee. She missed her fellow Glee clubbers. The worst part about being the star of the school musical was the fact that she had no one to share it with. When Dakota Stanley was yelling at them, at least they could take comfort in the strength of the group, right? But, now a torrent of abuse was being thrown at her and there was no one to back her up. Heck, she even wished Mercedes or Kurt were here. A small chuckle escaper her lips at the thought. She knew Finn would defend her. Despite the fact that he didn't know what it meant, he really was a chivalrous individual. Maybe she shouldn't have given up on Glee so soon.

* * *

Rehearsing was the best bit of being in the school musical. Sitting at a piano and singing was her favourite time of day. It was when she could just be herself. Let it all out. Be the Rachel Berry she was born to be. Singing made her feel like she was just being herself. No act, no pretence, just her. That's why for a second she doesn't stop when she hears the door click open.

"That sounds really good," she whips around in her chair and sees Finn looking sheepishly at her, an adorably dopey grin on his face. She knows she's talented. She figured it out when she was two and a half. But, something about hearing Finn say it in such an innocently proud kind of way makes her feel all warm on the inside.

"Thanks, Finn,"

"So, you uh ready to rehearse? I mean you said I could help you run lines so err here I am," she notes that he looks uncomfortable, hands shoved awkwardly into the pockets of his jeans, but she can't help but just beam up at him. She knows she's abrasive, demanding and sometimes a little too honest but, for some reason, Finn is always there for her. Sure she knows it has something to do with her compelling attractiveness and her magnificent voice, but still it helps to know there is someone supporting her.

"That's very kind of you Finn, I'll go get the scripts and we can start from there. Just read the lines that aren't marked with gold stars," she notes that he runs a nervous hand across the back of his neck but doesn't dwell on it. He's there with her and that's all that matters.

* * *

She doesn't like bowling. She doesn't understand what could possibly be enjoyable about the sport. Firstly she has to put used shoes on, shoes that don't even go with her outfit, and then she has to stick her fingers into a used bowling ball and everything feels sticky and sweaty. How this is possibly meant to relax her when all it is doing is making her want to take a shower is beyond her. But, then Finn places a hand on her shoulder, steering her towards the lane, and suddenly bowling doesn't seem so bad after all. She misses and he laughs and she can't help but feel that this is a 'date'. Everything is way too 'touchy-feely' for it to be anything but a date. He is such a gentleman too, paying for her pizza and Diet Coke. She wanders about Quinn and feels her stomach become queasy as she remembers the infuriating blonde. This is wrong. He has a girlfriend. Yet, then he gives her that sweet lopsided grin and she forgets all about the celibate Cheerio. He clearly likes her.

"We miss you at Glee practice," he says sweetly as they eat their pizza and forget about the disgusting bowling aspect of the night for just a moment.

"You miss my talent," she knows this is probably the only reason they miss her. Being a very self-aware individual means that she realises that some people don't really like her. It doesn't bother her because, well really, it's their loss not hers.

"No we miss being your friend," he sounds so sincere that she can't help but believe him.

"It's your last ball," he gets up quickly from the table and grabs the ridiculous pink ball, holding it out to her.

"Like the first time, only better," he smirks slightly and she pokes him jovially in the stomach before grabbing the ball from him. She might not like bowling but she likes him. And he likes her. She also knows it's a good thing when she knocks down all the white things at the end of the lane.

Finn beams at her and she loses all semblance of self-control bounding into his arms. Despite the fact that Dakota Stanley was somewhat correct when he called Finn 'Frankenteen', he really is freakishly tall, and Rachel is well aware that she is petite, which is why she makes up for her lack of height with her joyous personality, she feels right in his arms; comfortable and safe. When she draws back to smile up at him that really is all she means to do, but, he is way too cute. Insanely cute. So, impulsively, she just leans in and captures his lips with her own. They really are surprisingly soft for a guys. Her heart does that weird little flip thing in did in the auditorium and for some reason that triggers her memory of the fact that he has a girlfriend. Quinn Fabray. She pulls away.

"What about Quinn?"

"I don't know what is going to happen in the future, all I know is that I want to spend more time with you now," and with that she melts a little on the inside and she is glad his strong hands are still supporting her waist.

"Come back to Glee?"

"I'd have to quit the play," his face drops and her heart sinks, "I'll do it," she reassures him before hugging him tightly, a large smile creeping up her face. She may hate bowling but she'll come back here if it leads to this.

* * *

Quinn Fabray is pregnant. She doesn't even care about the irony of the President of the Celibacy Club becoming pregnant. All she cares about is that Finn Hudson is the daddy. He has to be. When she heard the news something inside her snapped. She couldn't believe that she had kissed that stupid oafish boy last night, believed him when he said he liked her, only to find out from the Glee kids that he had been lying to her the whole time. That was it. She was done with Finn, done with working as part of a team. She needed to focus on her career now. Do what she needed to do, not what the other's wanted her to do. She was Rachel Berry and she was going places whether he liked it or not. He didn't factor in the long run anyway. But, she needed to find him and give him a piece of her mind. That's when she sees him strolling merrily down the hallway. Oh boy was he going to get what was coming to him.

"Finn," she says roughly causing him to whip around with a dopey smile on his face. But, then she slaps him. Hard. And that cheesy grin deissapears.

"You're a liar. Why didn't you tell me Quinn was pregnant?"

"Who told you?" he looks so shocked and he reaches for her, but, she backs away. She won't let him touch her. Not after what he did.

"Everyone knows but me. I'm the only fool who went out with you and let you kiss me thinking you actually had feelings for me," she can feel tears beginning to form in her eyes but she holds them back. She refuses to cry in front of him. She has too much pride for that. She's Rachel freaking Berry.

"I do," he seems genuine but she finds it hard to believe, "look I guess I wasn't totally honest with you but, that's different then lying." Rachel can't believe that he is trying to justify himself.

"Well not really. I needed a scholarship so I can go to college and get a job to look after my kid. But, the only way I had a chance was if I could get you to come back to Glee. You should take it as a compliment," by this point of his speech she is incredulous. Finn Hudson used her. Played her to get what he wanted. Didn't he know that if he just had have explained the situation she would have come back in a heartbeat?

"You could have been honest with me?" she can see that he looks guilty at that but really she doesn't care.

"Look I know what I did was wrong. I get that. But, that kiss was real-"

"Whatever it was it ruined any chance of me coming back to Glee. I hope you have fun with your little ensemble. But, my dreams are bigger than that. And there bigger than you," she whips around, turning away from Finn and heading down the hallway. While inside her heart feels like its breaking, she will stay strong. She will not break down. She's doing the right thing.

* * *

She thought she'd be happy when Ms. Sylvester gave her full artistic control over the musical but instead she just kind of feels empty. There's no one to share her achievement with. And for some weird reason that makes it all feel like it's not worth it. But, then she reminds herself that Liza was the star of _Cabaret_. LIZA. She was going to be playing a role that Liza immortalised. That has to make it worth it right?

* * *

She goes to the Glee club performance to prove that she made the right decision. But, then they sing. And they sound good. Without her. That wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to sound like they needed her back. But, they don't. And that breaks her a little bit. Maybe she has made the wrong decision.

She sees April leave and Mr Schuester go into the change room looking disheartened and she makes the split decision to just follow and see what happens. She lingers just outside of the room, within ear shot but out of sight. She wouldn't say she's unhappy when she hears Mr Schuester say that April Rhodes has officially left. It makes her the singing star of the school again. Not that she was ever worried about that title. Not really. Maybe just a little bit. But, she knows what this means for the Glee kids. They can't perform the second song. And she knows how hard they prepared for this. Because, for a while there she was preparing with them. Taking a moment she centres herself. She's a professional. She can help them out on this one. She will put her personal differences aside and take one for the team. She steps into the room and tries to ignore the eyes rolling in her direction. They'll get it in a minute.

"In theatre if the star can't perform, the understudy takes her place. I'd be happy to fill in for April if you'd have me."

"Since when were you willing to be an understudy?" Mercedes asks, looking frustrated and a little bit dubious.

"Since I realised that being the star didn't make me feel as special being your friend," she looks at Finn directly, "and if I let you down when you needed me the most, I'd never be able to forgive myself," he seems to get it. She might not have forgiven him yet, but, she can't be the sort of person she admires if she doesn't help him. This whole thing. The baby. It's bigger than her crush on Finn.

"I know all the words to the song," she finishes lamely.

"You don't know the choreography," Quinn adds rather harshly and for a second Rachel feels stupid for asking.

"Then we'll need to give her a lot of help out there," Finn smiles so sweetly at her that she struggles to remember why she's angry at him. They all nod and she goes to get ready. Being the star wasn't the right decision. This is.

**Author Note: **I've kind of had some writers block on this story. I love Rachel Berry and I think Lea Michele is amazing but I'm stuck on whether this is a waste of time. If you think I should continue trying to explore the deeper feelings of Rachel please say so. Cheers!


End file.
